Conquering Imposter Syndrome and Comparisonitis
I recently posted the following in a Facebook group and I must admit that the feedback that I received placed some people in the same circumstance.
I became an Executive Contributor (for BRAINZ Magazine) because I thought that I had something to offer other business owners. I thought that the skill set that I had would be enough.
Day after day I read what others are writing and I feel so inadequate. I ask myself, “why did I make such big a financial investment in the first place?” “What do I have to offer these people who seem to be much more knowledgeable than me?”
It’s times like that that I must remind myself that I am enough. I am unique and what I have to offer is needed in the business world.
So why then, do I feel like such a fraud?
Have I been conditioned this way? Perhaps.
Am I a capable person? Of course.
Would others benefit from my knowledge? Absolutely.
Why then do I put myself through this self-doubt?
Imposter Syndrome is that dreaded fear of being exposed as a fraud. You feel inadequate, insecure, and afraid that you’re temporarily fooling those who compliment you.
Your negative mind chatter insists that any success you attain results from blind luck. The solution? Take these four steps to silence your inner critic.
In an article by Lynne Curry [Ph.D., Executive Coach] she gives four useful steps on how to overcome the dreaded Imposter Syndrome.
4 Steps You Must Take to Overcome the Imposter Syndrome
Even after writing eleven books and winning several awards, Maya Angelou couldn’t escape the doubt that she hadn’t earned her accomplishments. This feeling of fraudulence is extremely common. Why can’t so many of us shake feelings that our ideas and skills aren’t worthy of others’ attention? Elizabeth Cox describes the psychology behind the imposter syndrome, and what you can do to combat it. [TED-Ed Animation by Sharon Coleman].
You did it.
You got the promotion; or landed the largest client you could imagine, beating out every competitor. Your presentation dazzled, and your manager and colleagues unanimously congratulate you, “Way to go!”
Except for a nagging voice inside your head won’t hush. Instead, it whispers, “Everyone’s going to realise you’re not going to be able to pull this off,” or “It was pure luck; you’ll be found out when you’re not able to succeed at this again.”
The problem? You battle imposter syndrome, the internalised fear of being exposed as a fraud. You feel inadequate, insecure, and afraid that you’re temporarily fooling those who compliment you. Your negative mind chatter insists that any success you attain results from blind luck. The solution? Take these four steps to silence your inner critic.
Identify your triggers
Imposter syndrome comes from your past. Defeat it by learning which individuals and situations shake your confidence. You can win this game of inner critic whack-a-mole if you recognise and confront the things that lead you down the self-doubt path. Awareness starts your healing process.
Flip your script
Learn to listen to yourself when you deny your achievements. Train yourself to respond differently. If a colleague or friend compliments you, don’t let yourself say, “It was nothing” or “I just got lucky.” Instead say, “Thanks. I’m excited too. I worked hard on that.”
Every time you hear the inner voice that discounts your achievements or critiques your efforts, counterpoint it by saying, “Here’s something I achieved this week” or “Look what I’ve learned; I’m on my way.”
Next, start and then constantly add to your list of “accomplishments” so you’ll have the evidence in black and white.
You’re not alone unless you allow it. Reach out to a coach or others who believe in you. Outside support can fend off the crippling effects of the imposter syndrome. Allow others who value you to cheer you on – and when they do, listen to them.
Own your future
What would you try if you weren’t afraid you couldn’t succeed? Don’t let the mouthy self-doubting voice inside your head hold you back from the things you want to do. Even if you don’t succeed initially, it takes courage to seize opportunities despite doubts. Prove to yourself how much you can do when you let yourself try.
“The compulsion to compare one’s accomplishments to another’s to determine relative importance, etc.”
Have you ever found yourself suffering from comparisonitis, where you are comparing yourself or your business to someone else’s because they appear to be more successful than you?
Their posts get more likes and engagement, they have more ‘likers’ of their biz page than you, and you wonder, “What the hell am I doing wrong? Why am I not as successful?”
YOU know you have an excellent product or service. YOU believe your prices are reasonable, even on the ‘cheap’ side because you want people to buy from you. So, what is the issue?
I know that I am often guilty of this affliction!
FIRSTLY, stop comparing yourself to others. YOU are uniquely you and your offerings reflect who you are.
Keep striving to be your best self and the rest will follow.
You will likely have endless thoughts that go around in your head when you suffer from this, such as:
Why aren’t I doing that?
- Their life is so much better than mine
- I wish my relationship was like that
- I should be doing/have that
- Why don’t people like my content/posts as much as…?
Feelings such as:
Look at what we do to ourselves! We give ourselves that feeling as though someone’s punched us in our stomach! When really, it is an energy of “I’m not good enough.”
That is what it does to you, it seeps into your body just from the thoughts you have.
Mental Health and Wellbeing and Support for BusinessMental health and owning a small business Depending on the type of small business that you have, these challenges may include: regularly putting in long hours and working intensely to meet the demands of your...
Hybrid events are a big part of our future and we must get better at them. According to Northstar Meetings Group's latest PULSE Survey, 36 percent of meeting professionals polled said they are currently planning hybrid events, while 15 percent intend to host a hybrid...
Are You Stuck in the COMFORT ZONE?We have all heard the term but what does it actually mean? noun a situation where one feels safe or at ease. "the trip is an attempt to take the students out of their comfort zone" a settled method of working that requires little...